my mailbox is automatically emptied to the trash. I want to do this myself but how

If you go to Menu > Tools > Settings > General, you can select if the Trash is automatically emptied on exit. If this is not ticked, the Trash folder will not be emptied b eM Client.

If your account is setup as IMAP, then the server will empty the Trash as setup through the web interface for your provider. Some providers do not allow you to change that setting, others do. GMail automatically deletes the message from Trash after 30 days. My provider allows retention to be set individually per folder, so I can set Trash to empty after 3 days or one week etc.

Thank you that was very helpful